He told me they were just razor bumps!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
