Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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