hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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