what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
