and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
