Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
