Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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