well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Come on in and take your pants off
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