So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
