If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
