She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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