We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
