Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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