i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We just shotgunned beers for America
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
