i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
