I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
