I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
