Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
