Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You can't special order awesome
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
