If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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