oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize