i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
