So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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