Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
