A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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