Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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