She's JV to your varsity
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
