By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize