I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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