Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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