I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Bring me that man meat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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