The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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