omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
