white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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