two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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