If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
