Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize