My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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