Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
