ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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