i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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