I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
