You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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