We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
