honey bunches of taint.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
