yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
