By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
