Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
