I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
