remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
