i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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