Kiss
Puke
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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