Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
