hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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