To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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