the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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