Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
