420 ftw
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
