Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
