You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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