And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
