Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
